Zero Waste Stain Removal Chart

I wasn't allowed in the kitchen until last year, and my command of French is middling at best, but a lifetime of thrift shopping and being clumsy turned me into a stain removal expert the likes of Heloise. All you need are a few natural ingredients you probably have on hand. Pretreat stains as directed above, then wash with savon de Marseille and cold water- olive oil-based soap is magic on delicate fabrics and greasy stains. Remember, use vinegar and baking soda one at a time, not in tandem!

Our clothes are made from natural fibers, so I don't know if these work on synthetics. If you're wearing synthetic clothing, though, you have bigger problems than stained laundry.  All items can be found in Paris in bulk (salt, cornstarch, soap, wine, carbonated water) or fully recyclable packaging (baking soda, vinegar).

The Perfect Bed

When I lived in the US, I used to see Philippe Cousteau, Jr. at sustainability events every now and then. He always wore the same belt on the same pair of jeans, and he kept no cotton sheets or towels at his house. I thought this was a French thing, but en fait, there are 101 gallons of water hidden in every pound of cotton. It's toxin-laden and potentially mutagenic and considered one of the world's dirtiest crops. The rest of our beds might be even worse- endocrine disruptors, carcinogens, formaldehyde and respiratory irritants fill every polyurethane, memory foam, or latex mattress.

This isn't to say that as your body flushes out the day's toxins during a night's sleep, your bedding replaces them with fresh phthalates and VOCs- no one knows what effect these chemical levels have in the long run. Still, it's a good excuse to promote beautiful, handmade natural wool and linen bedding. French people get a bad rap when it comes to cleanliness, but the wool duvets and mattresses they make are inherently antimicrobial. Remember that scary Northern Exposure episode where Maggie was obsessed with dust mites? In France, generations of artisans divert hundreds of thousands of tons of steel from landfills with wool mattresses that regulate temperature and require little maintenance. Just wash, re-fluff, and service at a literie every ten years. In Paris, I like Special Literie, 19 bis Rue de Cotte 75012. It's right next door to Puerto Cacao, so you can eat bulk chocolate while you wait.

 

Habitat Ikebana bed from LeBonCoin, similar here. Linen sheet set, secondhand

Linen sheets are perfect for Paris apartments lacking air conditioning and adequate heaters- clean and comfortable on the sweatiest summer nights and cozy in the dead of winter, when La France Mutualiste gets stingy with the radiator. Harvested from cellulose flax fibers, linen production uses minimal water and energy inputs. Since French washer/dryers don't really dry anything, the moisture-wicking properties of linen help on cold, humid laundry days. The more I wash and use them, the better they look- best of all, Kar and Toffel love their silky washed texture!

To learn more about artisanal wool mattress production, click here.

Apartment Hunting, Part II: Our Neighborhood

How to Set a Table

 

When I hosted my first dinner party, I didn't know table setting was a thing. I set out a stack of plates, napkins, and silverware, expecting guests to serve themselves. They looked at me helplessly. Only later did I realize that French hostesses plate food and set the table accordingly.

Formal settings dictate a charger underneath the serving plate; informal settings include a bread plate and knife above the forks. For the sake of minimalism, I've pared these down to the very basics (click each photo to enlarge). To get really fancy, you can use up to five glasses- for sherry, champagne, etc.- plus separate utensils for fish and shellfish.

If our tableware looks a little Nietzschean, that's because it is. We use Arne Jacobsen for Georg Jensen flatware, as popularized in 2001: A Space Odyssey. I found my set on eBay, but my aunt gifted us matching serving pieces. They're a dream to eat with, and because it's a timeless style, finding replacements or duplicates is easy. Square white stoneware is my personal preference. The plates present food beautifully, while recycled glassware allow liquids to pop visually.

Setting the Table: Etiquette

Basic table setting 

Place utensils one inch from the table's edge, outside in by order of use. Knife blades face the plate, and the water glass sits above the knife. Spoons go to the right of the knives, while forks sit at the left of the plate.

Informal table setting 

Add a wineglass, teacup/saucer, salad fork, salad bowl, and dessert spoon. Suitable for brunch and three-course meals.

Formal place setting

For three courses or more. No more than three of any utensil should ever be placed on the table at one time. Place cards sit above the dessert spoon and cake fork.

Zero Waste Medicine

Since going zero waste, I never get sick unless I'm 1) exposed to gluten, then 2) around sick children, in that order. If I don't accidentally get glutened, sick people can sneeze on me all day long, and I won't catch it. A trash-free sick day mostly just requires handkerchiefs and homemade tea. I used to think handkerchiefs were disgusting, but research confirms washing handkerchiefs removes viruses, especially if you regularly clean the machine. Throw a used Kleenex into the garbage, and the virus remains viable- in fact, rhinoviruses stay infectious in landfills. Compare an embroidered cloth handkerchief to this. Which is grosser?

We have a dozen handkerchiefs in linen and cotton, but you can make them from old t-shirts. Ever since Mama Eats Plants said she takes oregano oil to stay healthy, I've been dropping it in soups, sauces, and water to fight infections. I also like fire cider to get me through harsh Ohio winters, and elderberry syrup for coughs.

ZERO-WASTE HOME REMEDIES

HONEYSUCKLE  Add 2 cups fresh honeysuckle blossoms and leaves to four cups water with one cup raw honey. Take a spoonful every two hours to soothe inflammation and spasms, or use as expectorant. Strongly antiviral, the blossoms themselves can be steeped in a tea to flush toxins, or crushed and applied to wounds and bruises. Substitute lavender for the same indications. GINGER Steep 10g each black dates, mint, ginger slices, onion peel, and orange peel in boiling water; drink every hour to prevent and treat colds and infection. Slice and use as pain killer. Combine with honey to ease cold and flu symptoms, nausea, gastritis, and menstrual cramps.

BAKING SODA Make a paste of baking soda and water; apply as salve to insect bites or directly on canker sores to speed healing. Mix with apple cider vinegar, lemon juice and water and drink to treat urinary tract infections. Add 1 teaspoon baking soda to 1 tablespoon molasses to prevent fungal infections. Use as bath soak to relax muscle spasms and relieve soreness; also treats yeast infections and GERD symptoms. Suitable as antacid. ALEPPO SOAP A natural antiseptic, use to clean cuts, treat eczema, rheumatism and muscle spasms. Can be used to treat poison ivy rashes and insect stings.

CAYENNE PEPPER Sprinkle on wounds to stop bleeding. Apply directly to gum area to treat toothaches. Take 1/2 teaspoon in a cup of warm water to treat headaches. Boil one teaspoon with 1/4 cup each of water and apple cider vinegar. Mix with honey and lemon and take to treat sinus infections. ACV One to two teaspoons apple cider vinegar alleviates acid reflux and GI distress. Mix with hot water and honey to soothe sore throats. Take two tablespoons to regulate glucose. Apply on skin to ease itching, or use as bath soak to soothe tired muscles. Pour over fresh thyme sprigs and steep for four months, then apply directly to bites or stings.

THIEVES' OIL Mix 80 drops clove bud essential oil with 70 drops lemon essential oil, 40 drops cinnamon essential oil, 30 drops eucalyptus essential oil, 20 drops rosemary essential oil, and 10 drops tea tree or lavender essential oil in a dark glass bottle and shake. One drop cleans cuts; soothes poison ivy rashes, insect bites and stings; relieves headaches; and sanitizes toothbrushes. Add a few drops to boiling water to sanitize the air; inhale to clear congestion. Use fifteen drops to treat bronchitis. Hand sanitizer, bug repellent, & Vaporub alternative. Note: I haven't found zero-waste essential oil in Paris- click here for at-home instructions.

Other essentials:

1. Lambs ear. You can grow this yourself and use it to stop bleeding or as bandages. I like gauze better than Band Aids but there are some instances where waste is necessary, and first aid is one of them. I just don't like ripping off Band-Aids. Dab cuts with honey first- it's an excellent antibacterial agent. You can also stop bleeding with sugar.
2. White willow bark. Safe alternative to aspirin and salicylic acid acne treatments.
3. Fresh aloe. Click here for instructions on harvesting aloe vera from the plant. A powerful burn treatment, this can be taken internally- avoid if you have liver issues.
4. Neem oil. Mix 2 mL neem oil in 100 mL carrier oil (I like sweet almond) with a few drops of essential oils (try lavender or citronelle) for natural, DEET-free bug repellent.
5. Neti pot.
6. Raw honey. Naturally antiseptic and the best cure- along with a teaspoon of salt in a cup of water- for pinkeye.
7. Vodka. Buy in bulk and use it as hand sanitizer, rubbing alcohol, disinfectant, a toothache remedy, or to treat swimmer's ear and cold sores. 

Whenever I get sick I sanitize the light switches, doorknobs, phone, anything I touched with vinegar and hot soapy water. For cold and flu I also like to boil a pot of onion skin, ginger, orange peel, and lemon juice with Korean dates. I'm positive it helps me recover faster. Another good Korean remedy is Chinese plum boiled in sugar and water, then fermented in a big glass jar for three months. It settles the stomach immediately and helps ease symptoms of celiac disease, although Koreans mostly just put the resulting syrup in whiskey and cocktails. My doctor says that dark chocolate works better than cough drops, and he's right. It makes a huge difference (he graduated with honors from Oxford and Cambridge so it's not like he's a quack or anything). One last tip- when my sister was stung by a cactus, my grandma put the cut edge of a raw onion on the affected area. It drew out the stingers and eased the pain. The next day, it looked like nothing happened! Note: Never risk your health for the sake of zero waste. Sometimes you need medication or something in plastic packaging. That's ok! The idea is to seek the best medical treatment so you stay as healthy as possible.

Zero-Waste Food Storage

Click here to see more plastic-free, zero-waste food and recipes.

When we first moved here, the language barrier intimidated me into accepting food with whatever trappings were offered. But the growing rage I felt towards Paris prices soon accompanied a passable level of French and a significantly higher level of entitlement. If my weekly grocery bill was going to equal a monthly car payment (for a Honda, no less), I better not have any trash to take out afterward.

We opted to forgo the freezer in this apartment, and I'm hoping our next home will skip the refrigerator. Until then, everything is organized according to Cornell's guidelines for storing organic food. Fatty or sweet things, like crème anglaise, homemade coconut milk, butter, and crème fraîche belong on the top shelf (pictured). Wine and juice go on the rack, with leftovers below and eggs in the drawer. Finally, separate dairy and meats on the middle and lowest shelves, respectively- larger cuts, like côte de boeuf, can be wrapped safely in a flour sack towel with a wooden board underneath. I also make jam and condiments (mainly harissa and mayo) at home, all of which go in glass jars in the door. My friends say it's a true American refrigerator, on account of its size :) You can freeze in glass jars or stainless steel containers. Don't fill above the shoulder and allow room for expansion in flat edge jars. When I’m in Cleveland, I freeze homemade tortillas wrapped with cloth stored flat in a stainlsss steel container, rolled in cloth in a large Ball jar, or simply in a cloth drawstring bag or bento bag. You can do the same with cookies, muffins, breads, croissants etc. Kathryn from Going Zero Waste has a detailed guide on freezing plastic free and uses a pillowcase to preserve baked goods.

Zero Waste Food Storage (Plastic Free, Paperless)

Apples	Keep unwashed, loose in the refrigerator. Can store with potatoes		Kiwi	Keeps well at room temperature.
Apricots	Only put ripe apricots in fridge, in low-humidity drawer.		Leafy greens	Wash, dry, and store wrapped in a cloth towel.
Arugula	Wash, dry thoroughly between two towels, then store wrapped in a towel in a drawer.		Leeks	Keep in an open jar with a little water for stems.
Asparagus	Trim ends, then store upright in a glass with a little bit of water.		Melons	Room temperature until ripe, then refrigerator.
Avocado	Room temperature. Store loose with an apple to speed ripening.		Nectarines	Room temperature until ripe, then loose in refrigerator.
Banana	Keep at room temperature away from ethylene-sensitive produce.		Onions	Unstacked, in a cool, dry place away from the sun.
Basil	Trim stems, then keep upright in a glass jar with water at room temperature.		Parsnips	Loose in crisper.
Beets	Trim, wash and dry greens, then keep wrapped in a towel or glass container with moisture. Scrub roots and keep in high humidity drawer or damp towel.		Pears	Store with apples to ripen. Good in refrigerator or at room temperature.
Bell pepper	Wash, dry, store loose in crisper drawer.		Peppers	Store unwashed in crisper.
Berries	Soak in water with a splash of vinegar. Rinse, then dry flat between two towels.		Persimmon	Room temperature.
Broccoli	Leave uncovered in drawer. To prevent crumbs, drape a towel over unwashed florets first, leaving the stem exposed.		Pineapple	Keep whole pineapple out of the fridge. If you're not eating within three days, core, cut, and place in airtight glass jar.
Brussel sprouts	Store loose in a humid drawer.		Pomegranates	Bowl at room temperature.
Carrots	Scrub, store upright in a jar with water.		Potatoes	Store vitelotte in darkest part of the fridge. Otherwise, in a cool, dark, dry place away from onions, in wood, wire, metal or cloth.
Cauliflower	Same as broccoli.		Radish	See beets. Save the radish greens- they're delicious.
Celery	Rinse, keep in a humid drawer or damp towel. Store celery root the same way.		Romanesco	See broccoli, cauliflower.
Cherries	Store unwashed in the fridge in a netted bag, small wooden basket, or loosely closed glass jar.		Spinach	Store loose in the refrigerator or wrapped in a cloth towel.
Citrus	Best at room temperature. I stack them in a glass vase or fridge drawer.		Spring Onions	Loose in the crisper.
Cucumber	Do not wash. Store in crisper.		Squash	Room temperature or crisper, washed.
Eggplant	Store loose, unwashed, in crisper.		Strawberries	Soak in vinegar with water, dry, then keep in an open bowl in fridge.
Figs	Arrange in a single layer on a plate. Place in fridge.		Sweet potatoes	Never refrigerate.
Garlic	I buy fresh purple garlic, which needs to be kept in a cloth bag at room temperature or refrigerator drawer.		Tomato	Never refrigerate, they get mushy. Keep in a wooden basket or open glass jar. Store with apples to speed ripening.
Grapes	Store unwashed in refrigerator, loose or in a bowl.		Turnip	Same as radishes and beets.
Green beans	Store loose in a humid part of the refrigerator or in a damp towel.		Zucchini	Keep at room temperature. Wrap in cloth and place in fridge for longer storage.

A Year of Local Produce

My mom remembers when food started tasting different: beef went from grass-fed to corn-fed, apples lost their flavor, everything became waxier and bigger and more uniform. Not surprisingly, I never enjoyed produce like pears or grapes in the States. Coming here was a revelation. It took me awhile to get used to dirt-covered, blemished produce, but now I love finding slugs in my cauliflower. It means my food is wholesome, the flavor uncorrupted; everything's going to taste the way it's supposed to. Waiting months for my favorites to come back in season makes me appreciate them that much more! 

Anyway, I've gotten a few questions asking where I buy the purple potatoes. They're called vitelotte and I get them at Joël Thiébault's market stand. He's at Rue Gros on Thursdays from 7-2 and Avenue President Wilson on Saturdays. Real French people usually only eat them once a year or so, but we have them once a week because they're closer to ancient tubers, domesticated by the Incas on an Andean altiplano. The first cultivar was blue, and Incas grew a whole rainbow from pink to yellow and orange in all shapes and sizes. Faced with the challenge of farming a vertical surface, they bred different strains so plants grown next to each other wouldn't have to compete the way they do in a monoculture. Different, complementary neighbors thrive in different planes of sunshine, soak up water from different root levels, and overall capture more resources than would be possible under same-species competition. The resulting yields were impressive and resistant to disease or weather changes- an increasingly rare feat in our polyculture-deprived world.

Click here for a Paris market guide.

Zero Waste Cleaning

I think I'm a negative person, because when I first moved to Paris, what I noticed wasn't the way cream-colored buildings caught the light or distinctive loggias dotting tree-lined boulevards. It was the thick layer of limescale on everything. Well-meaning friends gave advice, but their homes aggravated my Howard Hughes-level mysophobia- the 'fresh' scent of Ariel smelled like endocrine disruptors to me. For a zero-waste apartment, I use these biodegradable cleaners, stored in Aesop bottles made of pharmaceutical grade amber glass. 2018 note: The list below refers to my Paris routine. Now that I'm in the US and don't have hard water, I use Meow Meow Tweet liquid castile soap for everything from dishes, laundry, and windows to floors, counters, toilet, and tub with Redecker brushes (my same old dish brush with a replacement head, a tub brush from Refill Revolution, and lint free Redecker cloths from Wild Minimalist or Boston General Store). I filled my own jar with the castile, and it's so concentrated, I got twelve quarts of soap from it. I just put a little in an old kombucha bottle with distilled water and an upcycled sprayer. After that's used up, I'll use Chagrin Valley Soap and Salve's Simply Castile, which is local, palm oil free, and certified organic. Vinegar is still an excellent multipurpose cleaner, fabric softener, rinse aid etc., and I recommend it for all households. I do want to try and use less baking soda in the future.

Zero waste cleaners and natural, homemade disinfectants

White vinegar  Spray directly on any surface and wipe off. To disinfect and remove hard water stains, let stand 10 minutes, then scrub with soap and water. Add 50 cl to laundry as fabric softener. For marble or wood floors, mix one part distilled water and one part vinegar; mop with vegetable sponge (see Cheryl Mendelson's comments on page 512 of Home Comforts about using any acid on tile and grout). Suitable as toilet cleaner, fruit and vegetable wash, stainless steel, jewelry, electronics and glass cleaner; rinse aid, and deodorizer. Vinegar is acidic- never mix with a base like castile soap. According to peer-reviewed studies, vinegar can remove many bacteria and viruses, but not, for example, the poliovirus- it eliminates 90% of the population- and the norovirus. It's not the best at removing dirt,  so elbow grease and plain soap and water are needed- antibacterial products may not be as helpful or necessary as people think . Updated to add: I now use castile soap for everything since I don't have hard water. See below for a comment on vinegar as a disinfectant compared to bleach. Vinegar is not a registered disinfectant. However, I often use vinegar over bleach, and I don't think it's dangerous to do so. For many household applications, bleach isn't necessary. Immunologists say we can coexist peacefully with microorganisms. After meat preparation or after an illness, however, a registered disinfectant is necessary, but the overuse of disinfectants isn’t necessarily helpful. The way bleach is manufactured lead to organochlorine pollution in the Great Lakes, where over 200 compounds were detected in water, soil, animals, and breast milk (only the amounts in breast milk were trace). These take centuries to decompose. Also, if you can only find vinegar in plastic, I don't recommend glass because even though it's fully recyclable, glass transportation has a hefty carbon footprint since the bottles are heavier than plastic. Try making scrap vinegar at home instead. It's easy, I personally just don't do it that often because A) I get vinegar at En Vrac and B) I eat all my apple cores, even the stems. I like lignin. Aleppo / Palm Oil Free Castile Soap Rub directly on stains to clean both porous and non-porous surfaces. Apply to damp brush to wash dishes. Grate soap for use as laundry detergent, or dissolve 70g grated soap in 2L boiling distilled water, and use for washing dishes, laundry, hand/body wash or shampoo. Can be used to clean upholstery or hand-wash dry cleaning. Tip: Pour dissolved soap mixture into a silicone ice cube tray and place in refrigerator for zero-waste, non-toxic laundry tabs.

Distilled water  Place a glass or stoneware bowl in a pot of water (make sure it floats). Invert the lid and bring to boil. When condensation fills the bowl (place ice on the lid for faster results), cool and store. Add lavender or rose petals to the pot for linen water, facial toner, flavorings, or to freshen and dehumidify air. Combine with equal parts vodka in a spray bottle to freshen clothes, bedding and upholstery- zero waste Febreze. Baking soda Updated to add: I rarely use baking soda  anymore because it is a non renewable resource. Sprinkle on sofa, mattresses, carpets, rugs or upholstered items and vacuum after 30 minutes to deep clean. Pour in drains and chase with white vinegar. Use to scrub ovens, pans, litter boxes, tubs, and the sink. To kill mold without bleach, scrub surface mold with baking soda, then spray vinegar on area and leave one hour. To remove tarnish from silver, soak in baking soda with boiling water.  To clean drains, use snake and plunger, then follow with baking soda, vinegar, and boiling water. Baking soda is a finite (though practically inexhaustable) resource that is mined from trona ore. It is not usually recycled and vast industrial quantities can persist in ecosystems, posing a risk to several species. However, the benefits outweigh the risks, which are mitigated by proper industrial disposal. Olive oil Zero-waste WD-40/Goo Gone- oil hinges, remove labels, and clean residue, gum and paint off of anything; cut with lemon juice to seal wood (or just use straight linseed oil), dust furniture, and polish shoes and silver. Buff thoroughly to prevent spoilage. Beeswax / Candelilla Rub directly on boots or rain coats to waterproof them. Melt 1/4 cup with a steamer to seal floors. Loosen rusty bolts and stuck drawers, preserve bronze, and repair rope. Combine 1/2 teaspoon with equal part olive oil to seal cutting boards. Citrus slices/peels Leave in gutters or on balcony to ward off mosquitoes; add to garbage can or garbage disposal to deodorize. Soak in vinegar for wood / all-purpose cleaner. Simmer on stove to dehumidify and scent the air. Use lemon slices to clean stains off butcher block countertops and disinfect cutting boards.

Plastic-Free Cleaning Tools

Flour sack towels

Despite the energy input required for cotton, I prefer these over microfiber for biodegradability and versatility. I use Fog Linen and Redecker towels now though, and they make great napkins and food wrappers. Instead of a wooden, plastic-free toilet brush, a specially designated flour sack towel works fine.

Compostable brush

We use this bamboo brush for scrubbing. After a year, the handle fell off and disappeared into compost, but the head is perfectly usable and disinfected in boiling vinegar every week. Redecker brushes are available throughout Paris.

Instead of spraying Lysol, open a window or set trash cans and litter boxes in the sun to freshen them. Even if your vacuum cleaner isn't bagless, you can compost the contents, rinse the bag, and re-use it. Try using a garment brush or vegetable sponge as a zero-waste lint roller (grow your own- they last indefinitely with proper care), and a galvanized bucket instead of a breakable plastic one. There's a learning curve with natural cleaning products, but now the first thing people say when they walk in is how clean and nice-smelling everything is. Everyone asks the name of our cleaning lady! 

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